In madness, I thought I had a very important role, and, of course, that includes the messenger-type function. That is a Muslim concept particularly with Muhammad. He's the messenger of Allah. That's, I think, a standard phrase. So I saw myself as being a messenger or having a special function. I saw it in terms of there being supporters, but also of opponents, and so I would think that if I was put in the hospital, it would be a coup d'etat by the opponents.

I had this feeling of persecution. I had the idea that some of the people -- I think Eisenhower was still president then -- and the Pope and the powers that be might be unsympathetic to me. I envisioned a hidden world where the Communists and the non-Communists were into this thing -- they were sort of schemers.

At a very early time I got the idea that I would receive a message somehow. Later on I felt that I might get a divine revelation by seeing a certain number that would appear. A great coincidence could be interpreted as a message from heaven.

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